All those other fleeting things

Not much going on in the way of life lately, but I felt a need to share with you all anyway. I've just been hanging out with the bf, packing the room up and counting (not so patiently) until the day I get to leave for good. It's not that I hate Rolla, it's just that.... miss life. Maybe that's not the best way to say it either...

At any rate, I was trying to think of something I wanted to share and pretty much the only thing I could really muster up enough feeling to care about was some of the stuff I've written lately. I do like writing poetry, but these last few in particular have been sort of a new thing for me. So there ya go... something new from me to be shared. And remember one thing: these sound much better read aloud than just on paper (or screen for you folks). Take them for what they are worth. <3

Words
A melodramatic addict waiting to act, to ask the simple question no one’s meant to ask
Pressing your luck, changing your pace to mimic mine, mime in time to the rhyme
Words that were unkind, blind to the metaphor, four to the floor
Listening to the beat
Upbeat, beat down, drown in these words
Screaming silence, words of violence, shyness and hollow kindness
Lying through my teeth, cheap thoughts, drink them down
Drown in these words, pay five dollars, stiffen your collar
Pretend they matter, take the chatter, drink it down, build it up
Like a cup, overflowing, words undone, cheap wine loosens the tongue
Declaring words, again and again, perform your act, back it with black
Dark words, again and again, nothing kind to say to this man
Eulogies written, carelessly forgotten, like a glutton, sugar coat to project hope
Protect what needs protecting, soften the blow, sink so low
Take the hit, remember the words he said when you bled, don’t shed another tear
Forget the fear and the angry words he muttered, uttered to you in silence
Fight back with violence, load the gun, forget the bullets, be unkind
Remind them who he was, and who you are, and what you’ll be, free from this
From him and those words and that fear
And see the clear light of day that shows just how cheap those thoughts and actions were
No more wrath to incur, no more whiskey to pour, don’t feel sore
It’s over now, he drowned in sorrow and sadness
Leave him in words, empty and hollow, and swallow down regret for the ending he met
Cause baby, it’s fact, the last thing he passed was a knack for a lack of love and kindness,
Ungrateful and sly, made up on the fly, wasted words for the day that you’ll die

Clouding The Issue
When did this notion become an affinity?
Like drops of infinity, spiraling upward into nothing,
Never ending drops falling into buckets
Lives not worth spending
Precious moments always gone too fast,
Being carefully careless
Classless, hopeless
Changes in perception, defining moments
Waiting for the reception, for the return, the celebration
Wars are unkind, but not to this generation
Clouds the issue, skip deep, too tight
Contracting, discomfort and cowardice
Distracting statements made of bliss
Retracting statements made of ignorance
Too cold to stand, to stay
Too much to fight, to die, to pray
There’s no god in this existence
Nothing to hold onto but your insistence
That I’m wrong and always will be
A decree, a cry, a shout of indifference
An inference, a wrong made right in the eyes of your reflection
Tears falling like glass, mask your opinion
It’s time to fight, to take flight
Time to change your direction
Time to clean and coddle this infection
Take down those defenses, grasp the edge
Time to claim you’re defenseless and hedge
Your words and check what this is about
Make your mark and drown me out

It’s time
Time to draw close to the end, remember infinity
Time to drop the bucket with tears flowing endlessly

The Fight
Wielding words like knives
Biting, cutting into skin, matter, bone
Chasing the reflection, the inflection changes
Ranging emotions, hurt to disdain
Complaining over the stain, the taste you kept when you left
Leapt from the window, eleven stories down
Eleven stories later: dry mouth, hoarse from the lies
The cries overwhelm, break out, break over, break down
Drowning here, nothing but sound
It’s loud, proud, nothing to stop it
Drop those hints, those words like knives
Like lies, bleeding to the ground
Drown again, in tears and in fate
Faithful, faithless, faith lost
At most it’s the dark winter dreary
You see it now so clearly
Another reflection caught in the mirror
Growing nearer, the fear
Leering at you, with you, for you
We drew to a close, a halt, a stop
Heard the pop, felt the heat
Beat them down, drown them again
Hold up your chin, stand up straight and tall
Do not fall or fear, it’s clear
Those lights so bright, driving all night
Into the sunset, into the west
Don’t know what’s best, but we’ll guess
Hold on to your fight, your love
Take off the gloves
Don’t die for this cause
Stand up, listen to the applause
Take it all in and grin
Show them that someday you’ll win
Their hearts and affection
And you’ll finally see that reflection
So deep inside, like knives
Dropping like words, like lies
Even the odds, loosen the ties
Let go of the crimes, the cries
Everybody dies, but they’ll listen
Your tears will glisten
Roll down your cheeks
Leaving stains for weeks
Years will pass, clear like glass
Hold on so tight to that night
You won and you’re done
And we’re gone
Alone in victory and defeat
An ending you’ll finally meet
And greet so warmly, with love and devotion
Cradle it close, and close your eyes forever
And remember now that this was your sweetest endeavor

Songs to consider:

The Words You Wield (Say Anything)