Don't tell me where the road ends

Sometimes life makes you wonder if all you have to do to get over an impossible hurdle is to jump the gun? You know, convince yourself that's you've hit rock bottom and that you have nowhere else to go but up? That seems to have done the trick. A few minutes of sobbing and absolute misery before the sun starts to shine again. The realization that I don't have to move or find a new job or change the conference in any way makes life seem beautifully serene. I'm really just enjoying the little bit of peace I seem to have finally come by. It's hard to say it, but instances like this really help me have a little faith in the world.

On the reverse of that, I feel completely isolated now. I see with two eyes and hear with two ears, but the emotional connection I used to feel is frayed and possibly broken. I just feel like something is unsettled. If you've ever seen a storm coming when the sun is still shining, you might sort of understand how it is for me. It's hard to be worried when everything seems fine, but you know something is coming your way and it won't be easy for you when it comes.

I've still been listening to Thriving Ivory. I still read what people write, still remain undecided on the upcoming presidency and still dislike the highs and lows that seem to upset my life all too often. I should go back to my favorite book again. It gives me a perspective I can't get from reality. It reminds me of a "game" I played once during a training session I was in for a job. It was called, "It could be worse." Basically someone says something bad that happened to them and the next person says "It could be worse" and says something bad that happened to them. I always think about that when I have a complaint that seems petty to me (even if it's a big deal to someone else).

I'm about ready to let all this worry go. It's bad for my mental health and maybe with the changing of the seasons will come with a greater appreciation for the little things: jacket weather, colorful leaves, a good book on a rainy day, shoes.

To end, a few lines from a song that gives me perspective:

Am I another slave now to the screaming in my head
Or is it a little strange now, how the moment's gone and fled
Oh, brother I gotta tell ya that something here is wrong
Oh, brother I gotta tell ya this place ain't what I thought
-Aliens

Songs to consider:

Chasing Pavements (Adele)
After Tonight (Josh Nozuka)
So What (Pink)