Perfect eyes will have perfect aim

I've been thinking lately about jealousy. It's an emotion that crops up a lot for seemingly no reason and no matter how much I try to make myself see how irrational it is to be jealous of anyone/thing, I still can't help but feel it come back strong every once in a great while. I didn't feel it too strongly tonight, but I did have a bit of a chance to think over it and really, I still can't understand what there is to be jealous of. And to be honest, I wish it were an emotion I were a little less familiar with.

Lets look at my pathetic attempt at a hypothetical situation. Say you like someone. Let's call them J. J, thankfully, likes you too. This is great and you start a relationship. But before you do, J mentions a friend, K, that likes J, but J does not reciprocate those feelings. I think we've all been here a least once in our lives, or if you are like me, many more times than you would like to admit. Anyway, J tells you that K likes them and that they do not like K, but when you start a relationship with J, they must tell K that they are with you now and thereby let K down/potentially anger them. See, K says J was leading them on. But soon K seems to move on and now you and J are happily together. Only thing is, J and K are still good friends and occasionally you must hang out with J and K together and you get the distinct feeling that K does not really like you. But that's okay, because you don't particularly like K either...mostly because you know that K has/had feelings for J and you feel that J is yours and yours alone and that K should have no right to feelings for J. Confused yet?

Anyway, a while goes by and you and J sort of half break up. We'll call it a break from holding a relationship title for simplicity's sake. So now you and J are "friends" and you still hang out most of the time, but now K thinks J is back on the market and maybe K is still holding out hope that J will finally reciprocate K's feelings. You know for a fact that J is still mentally, if not officially, committed to you and you alone and they have no interest in K whatsoever. But J now hangs out with K more often due to the break in your relationship and you are jealous of the time you have to give up for K to spend time with J.

Okay. It's really stupid and I know I'm being dumb for feeling jealous. But that is something I'm finding I cannot help. About the best I can do is not mention to "J" that I am jealous of the time "K" gets to spend with them. But I still feel it. I still think about it. And it definitely still bothers me. I don't wish for this to be the case, but I fear that there really is nothing I can do. Dead ended in emotion once more. About my only comfort in the whole J-K fiasco is that I know J will come home to me even if we aren't together and K will be going home alone and that's just how it will be until K finds someone else to have affections for.

I'm just crazy, I know. It does not help that it's late either. Heh. But alas, I am done.

Anyway...concerts (Blink-182 and Bowling For Soup) were both awesome and I am happy with my weekend overall (even if I have two days left of it). Sleep now, more later. Hopefully no more confusing hypothetical stories either. Sweet dreams.

Songs to consider:

The No Seatbelt Song (Brand New)

Liar (Taking Back Sunday)

Always (Blink-182)