I can't erase the stupid things I say

I've been a little better lately. I've been taking my alone time in stride and just waiting it out until I have something physical to do again. I've been spending a lot of late nights up playing computer games or watching old TV shows lately. I think that helps the day go faster when I'm alone. other than that, I don't know.

I've been on a Breaking kick lately. They are just so good and even if they don't sound happy, their energy helps me to feel better. I've literally been listening to them day and night for four or five days now I think. Better than some other things I've been listening to lately. Hmm.

Last night (or very early this morning), a friend and I drove out into the country to watch some of the Perseid's meteor shower. It was nice sitting out in the cool quiet night and just chatting while we watched for meteors. There was a really awesome one too. It literally looked like it hit the atmosphere and exploded. The streak it left lasted for several seconds. That was pretty worth it. My friend and I had a nice conversation too. We talked a lot about things we felt guilty about when we were kids and why we kept secrets from our mothers. It's weird how we both do it even though are moms are almost completely opposite of each other.

I think I wanted to talk about more than that, but I didn't think about it enough before hand, so I didn't share much else. I have this fear of saying things that I think people would judge me for. I don't care what people think usually, but I don't give them reason to judge me any more than they should.

In other news, I keep dreaming about my friends' families. It's strange to me because I generally don't see these people, but I still keep having dreams about them. Maybe it's cause I think about my friends when I sleep. Some more than others. But that's beside the point. :-P

I'm thinking it's time to start considering packing to move back to campus in a couple of days. I don't know if I'll actually pack, but at least thinking about it is one step closer. A small, baby step. But at least it's getting there. :) I'm out.

Songs to consider:

Here We Are (Breaking Benjamin)