Another startlingly chill night without the winter bitterness. Feeling overexposed and underdressed in the warm cold air, the faint drops of rain and the dim glow of a dying moon. Slow heart beats, then fast, then slow again. My skin tastes salty and bitter all at once. Is it me? Is it something else? Lying in the dark bright glow of the monitor, carelessly wasting away late in the early morning hours. Does it matter that it's tomorrow today? Can I save anyone now? Is it a serious complaint to say that I accomplished nothing? Who decides my fate? Is it me? You? That stranger?
Do you care here? Do you care now? Do you care anymore? Should I be someone else? Should I know who you are? Who I am? Why I'm here waiting for you? Should I know why I love you? Should I know why I want you without wanting you? Can I learn from this? Can I fall and pick myself back up? What's in the grey? Am I there? Am I sharply defined in the life I'm living or am I blurred at the edges, struggling to exist in you? Should I even ask anymore? Maybe not. Not today. Not now. I will carefully taste the sweet sunshine you give me and learn slowly once more to trust in you. I'll wait here. For you. For your love. I'll dare myself to let go and to hold on. Breathing slowly under your gaze. Waiting. Here. Now.
Songs to consider:
Watch Over You (Alter Bridge)
Where I Stood (Missy Higgins)
Angels On The Moon (Thriving Ivory) --> Rediscovered favorite
1 comment:
re: Yes, maybe there is something to that interdisciplinary stuff after all.
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