I tried to be chill, but you're so hot that I melted

I miss them already. I didn't cry, but I do feel bummed about it.
I found a picture. It'll be my secret, I swear.
I'll sneak peaks at it and I'll feel less sad and more sad at the same time.
I'm not grown up enough. I'm not ready for it. Not today.
I wish I were. I wish he were too.
I don't want to hesitate no more.
I want to see like you. Like him. Like everyone.
I don't want to be complicated.
I want to sing. I want to smile. I want to feel proud.
And not for myself.
I want it for you. For him.
I want to be reasonable and irrational all at once.
I want yesterday and tomorrow and November now.
I don't want to let it go. I don't want to not belong anymore.
I don't want to change and I want to make it new.
I want to sit. With you. With him. I want to find you.
I want to know more. I want to be loved. I don't want to pretend anymore.
I want to give you everything.
I want him to notice.
I feel the heat, and the cold.
I can't win, but I hope to anyway.
I'm tired, and alive. I'm ending.
I've taken too long. I need something more.
I need you. I need him.

Songs to consider:

I'm Yours (Jason Mraz)
Banana Pancakes (Jack Johnson)